Fuck Animals Too

People who have dogs without their own goddamn yard to shit in, OR worse, the ones who do and STILL walk them around town are fucking assholes. Litter train the fucking things or something. They have no business walking around town pissing and shitting on things in the first place. At least homeless people have a fucking reason to do it! Get a fucking cat or something if you don't have a yard, especially if you're going to pick one of those yappy little fucking dogs anyway. Some of those ugly, yappy little fucking breeds really need to die out. What is with people always picking the ugliest, most annoying pets?

Then you have the assclowns that work 7 days a week and never see the fucking dog anyway. If your neighbors or someone else has to feed/walk your pet on a regular basis, you probably shouldn't have one. Nobody cares if you're lonely. Work less and find someone to date. People keeping dogs strictly outside is bullshit too. I don't care if the stray cats are having an orgy. Keep that fucking hillbilly doorbell quiet. Birds and fish are also ridiculous pets. Birds are fucking nasty and fish just swim around and look pretty. When are emotional support skunks and badgers going to catch on? That'll help with social distancing.

Fuck animal racing as well. It's archaic and fucking stupid. Fuck dog shows. Fuck the goofy owners and their poofy fucking pets. More importantly, fuck the assholes who think it's worth televising. Fuck the ones who show horses. The only horse show I might care to watch would be something X rated. Most importantly, fuck the assclowns who put ridiculous values on all these dumb animals and the even dumber motherfuckers who pay the extortionate prices.

Quit whining about things going extinct. It'd be nice if more annoying creatures went extinct first, like politicians, but shit happens. Natural selection, progress, whatever. I don't give a fuck if koalas only exist in zoos soon, no matter how goddamn cute they are. Pandas were cute too, and they've been near fucked for quite a while. Deal with it. If we can't eat it or fuck it, it's not that important in the grand scheme of things.

Speaking of which, do poachers eat rhino or elephant meat? Seems like a waste of a fuckton of meat just for the ivory. Wonder what it tastes like. One of those poor African countries needs to grow some balls and turn poacher punishment into profits. Setup a nice preserve and dump unarmed poachers in with different nasty animals every week. Put it on TV or stream it. People can bet on which assholes will die first or from what (snake bite, lion, quick sand). They could have some fun with that shit, and seriously deter poaching. Win-win.

p.s. Fuck those World Wildlife Fuckwits for making the wrestling company change its name.