Fuck Censorship

It seems that being a wimpy bible thumping asshole is becoming an epidemic in this world. Censorship is everywhere for no fucking reason. It even rears its ugly head at one of my blog mirrors, TrueAchievements.com. One of the volunteer staffers looking to feel big and powerful decided to pick on my blog spouting shit about the site being PG-13. The only 13 year olds with 100k gamer score are fucking modders. The guides on that site are written and used mostly by people 16 and over anyway. I'm so tired of everyone making everything about fuckin kids. When do adults get to be fucking adults and say what the hell they please? For that matter, what kid doesn't know profanity by the age of 12 nowadays? Have you heard the little bastards on Xbox Live? Halo, Gears, COD, doesn't matter. There's little kids on all of them talking shit. I used to play Halo with a 14 year old that uses "profanity" more than I ever could.

It's like these idiots that make sites/forums dedicated to M rated games. The game is for ADULTS. You get harassed for ID to buy the fuckin thing. Yet, the fan sites are censored. I should be able to run around those forums with Bad Motherfucker as my username, a pic of nice tits as my avatar, and a gory stick death animated image in my fucking signature.

The words are everywhere: movies, games, even network TV (to an extent). I'm so tired of these sheeple that just buy into the whole offensive words shit. There are 1000s of words in the english language, but these few are just horrible. WHY? What is wrong with these words compared to any other? Answer: NOTHING! The fucking bible thumpers started this shit and everyone keeps buying into it. I say all words are created equal. Express yourself as you fucking see fit.

Someone actually made a comment that "Profanity is the effort of a feeble brain to express itself forcibly.." I'd say it's the other way around. The people who can't handle hearing those words are the ones with feeble fucking brains. I like the way they sound. If you don't, tough shit. I got a quote of my own. "If liberty means anything, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." I always remembered that from The People vs Larry Flynt. Awesome movie, by the way.

Fuck Restaurants

I'd really like to know why it's so hard to find good bacon and sausage anymore. I used to eat bacon subs at Subway, but the bacon suddenly went to shit. It doesn't even taste like bacon anymore. Waffle House's bacon took a sudden turn for the worst as well. Denny's had good bacon and sausage. Then the stupid fucks went and changed their sausage. Now I barely go in. I don't normally like sausage links at most places, because they taste like they're wrapped in a used condom. What is with that thick casing shit they use?


Some states have banned smoking in restaurants now too. I just heard the retards in Commifornia even banned E-cigs. I never smoked, so I don't really give a shit. I think they should keep the places divided into 2 sections though. Instead of a smoking section, why not a section for people with young kids, so the rest of us can enjoy a quiet fucking meal? I mean really. How hard would it be for the hostess to keep putting the people with kids near each other instead of scattering them around the whole fucking building? Most people probably wouldn't even notice they're being divided based on whether or not they've brought their disruptive little spawn with them.

It pisses me off even more when I'm sitting in a restaurant that allows you to seat yourself, the whole place is empty (or near empty), and the next asshole that comes in just has to sit at the very next table. You have the whole fucking place to choose from. Why the fuck would you park your ass beside the one other group in the building!? I don't want to listen to your fucking dinner conversation, your annoying kids, your stupid questions about the menu, or any other goddamn thing! I've also noticed a serious increase in the amount of idiots who bring their meat sirens to dinner, even at the expensive places like steak joints. I started eating at Outback here with my parents when it first opened in the early-mid 90s. I don't think we heard even ONE screaming kid for the first 10 years it was open. Maybe more. So why is it no matter where I go now, what time, or where I sit, I'm subjected to somebody's fucking meat siren!? Even with the economy in the shitter for the longest time, everyone seems to be able to afford the steak joints, etc. Does nobody know how to cook for their fucking kids anymore!? Is this the result of all these over-educated cunts the online dating sites are full of nowadays? They're all working and nobody knows how to cook? Maybe they should've taken a fucking cooking/home economics class while they were working on that fucking masters. I know. I just pissed off some feminists. Equality is all good and well, but if you're planning on having kids, plan on feeding the little fuckers!!! At least for the first few years. Nobody wants to hear your screaming fucking kid at restaurants. I don't give a fuck how cute people say the thing is. Keep it home. If you can afford to go eat Prime Rib, you can afford a fucking babysitter.

Yet another irritating part of the restaurant experience is the way they serve certain things. Am I the only one that gets pissed off when they bring you bread and give you butter that's ice cold and impossible to spread without fucking up your roll/bread!? I don't like being served ice cold barbecue sauce with hot chicken either. Why the hell do they do that!? By the way, why the fuck does everyone go for that boney chicken shit? Boneless white meat for the win! I guess I'm just a "breast man."

More puzzling yet is the quality of cola at restaurants. Why is it every single bar I've been to, or restaurant with a bar, has watered down cola!? Every goddamn time. I can tell just by looking at it most times. If I go to Denny's, Waffle House, etc the cola is nice and strong and just as black as the coffee. Hell, even McDonald's has real cola! It doesn't matter if it's Coke, Pepsi, RC, etc. It's something about these fuckin bars. I don't understand it. Do they think they can get away with being tight asses about the Coke syrup because they mix it with alcohol half the time anyway, or what?

My last gripe for now is the temperature in restaurants. I went to Texas Roadhouse for lunch today and froze my ass off. There used to be a server at WH that blasted the AC constantly too. You know, it'd be nice if the food wasn't frozen by the time it gets to the fucking table. Why can't these idiots keep the thermostat at a level that keeps things comfortable without setting it to "Winter Wonderland!?!??" I, for one, have no interest in dining at the North Pole, ass clowns.

Fuck the Education System

I saw an article today that pissed me off, so I felt the need to rant. I think the comments pissed me off more than the article. Basically, some kid got suspended for 3 days just for asking Miss America to the prom. It's fucking retarded, and some sheeple are actually defending the the school's decision to be fucking assholes about it. "OH NOES! He asked her to the prom?!!??! SUSPEND HIM!" WHAT THE FUCK? They act like he asked if he could smell her sweet spot. Now I think she should go to the prom with that kid just as a "fuck you" to the school. Whatever. The whole Miss America thing is a joke. Half of them aren't that cute. Hell, I can't even pronounce this one's fucking name. moving on...

What do you remember most about school? Do you remember the smartest people in your class (aka NERDS!)? What about the bullies or the sluttiest girls (WHORES!)? The class clown probably comes to mind. Well, I was the smart kid and the class clown. It made for an interesting combination. I was smart enough to know that half of what we were being forced to learn was bullshit, and I was bold enough to throw it in the teachers' faces every chance I got. I use the term "learn" loosely, since school is really just about being force fed knowledge and regurgitating it on a test. Sure you learn some math that sticks with you, but algebra, calculus, and trigonometry are all complete bullshit and a waste of your time unless you intend to be a rocket scientist or something. I’ll never understand these parents that go apeshit when their kid is failing a class that’s complete bullshit to begin with. Take a fucking chill pill and think a little, people.

I remember math in 4th grade was particularly irritating though. Not because it was difficult in any way, but because the teacher was a pain in the ass. The teacher wanted to see everyone's work, but I could do the problems in my head and just write the answers. Either the student teacher thought I was cheating, or she was just pissed cause I was smarter than her. In any case, it turned into a major dispute. I was doing things my own way or not at all. Not much has changed in 20 years. Another thing about 4th grade that sucked was those assholes trying to force music on us. They sold us these shitty plastic things that looked like mini clarinets/flutes. They were called "recorders." Record this, assholes: I had no fucking interest in music then, now or at any time what so fucking ever! You shouldn't be forced to learn shit like that. What pissed me off even more was that my parents were such idiots that they actually sided with the fucking teacher. I don't want to learn to play a musical instrument! What's so complicated about that? I'm 29 now, and that still annoys me.

Once I had a locker (6th grade?), I refused to bring home any books. Homework? Fuck you, that's MY time! You already wasted at least 8 hours of my fucking day. Know what I did? I took my homework from one class to the next and finished it there. If an assignment really sucked, I skipped it. Piss on it. The tests are worth a shitload more than homework anyway, so do half decent on tests and you pass. I guess I was always too smart for my own damn good. I spent more of 7th grade in the hallway/office than I did in class, and I was still on the goddamn honor roll. Why do people still put up with pointless book reports? Regurgitating all this useless info in your own words for 20 pages because the teacher/professor says so? FUCK THEM! Why does everyone just submit to these assholes year after year while they pile on more and more useless shit completely irrelevant to your future? Not only that, but some of you fuckers actually pay for the torture...or ruin your credit trying. If everyone demanded an end to those useless waste of time assignments like writing a fucking report on King Tut's pecker, the shit would go away. People are just so fucking spineless.

In 5th or 6th grade, I figured out that those uncomfortable ceramic chairs in the classroom made for a great fart echo. I think I also learned to make paper footballs around that time. I made a shitload of them even though I hated sports. It was like origami for the artistically challenged. I couldn't draw for shit, but I could make a mean paper football! I also enjoyed making pointless things out of clay. I sucked at that too though. I had metal shop in 7th grade. It's a joke class, but I got my nuts in a ringer because we were expected to build a model T truck or some such shit. All I wanted to do was melt things with the torch all day. I may have roasted a few of the other students' truck parts, but you gotta keep occupied, right? I also had home economics. It wasn't as much fun as shop, but I'm sure we burned a few things. I also threw a chair at some kid that kicked me when I was down. I don't remember what the hell I was doing on the floor in the first place, but I remember getting back up to chase the little bastard with a chair.

There were actually teachers I liked. Geography class was ok. I liked the gym teacher too, but his class really pissed me off. I don't believe in wearing bullshit uniforms to play some lame game for a half hour. I'm probably being generous by even calling it a half hour, since we spent over half the class stretching and running laps. If I wanted to exercise, I'd get some fucking workout videos like the other wackos. When was the last time you heard about a kid pulling a muscle on the playground during recess? I played basketball every morning before English class, but the asshole expected everyone to stretch before playing it in gym class? bullshit. Needless to say, there were plenty of days I would have preferred to skip class and just go wack off in the locker room.

I guess the teachers didn't like me much either. I was assigned a report on yeast infections in science class once. Yeah, a guy really needs to know about that shit. I bet the fat bitch of a teacher needed info and was just too lazy to do her own research. I had another teacher that routinely threw me out of "Language Arts" class. WTF is that supposed to be, anyway? I really don't see the point of forcing kids to learn Greek mythology. Last I checked, the bible wasn't required reading in public schools. That shit amounts to the same thing, in my opinion. I remember amusing myself one day by sneezing all over my desk. It was always an easy way to gross out the girls. Well, that and putting too much hair spray in my hair then shaking it out like dandruff once it dried. I also remember that the bitch somehow came up with the rule that nobody was allowed to go to the bathroom while she was talking. EXCUSE ME!? I don't think you have the right to control anyone's bodily functions but your own.

The principal saw plenty of me, as you might have guessed. I think he generally believed everything I had to say though. Whenever I did shit, I always admitted to it. So when I denied something or accused someone else of something, he knew I wasn't bullshitting him. I got in a dispute with a substitute teacher once over what the real teacher's rules were regarding taking a test the day after you were absent. He dragged me to the principal (kicking and screaming), and I stated my case loud and clear. No detention. I got it plenty of other times though. I got in school suspension once or twice too. It's basically like all day detention. They put you in a room to do your school work and teachers take turns standing guard. Works for me, assuming I chose to actually do the assignments that day. The teachers were boring sons of bitches anyway. Anybody remember those annoying tests with questions you can answer in 2 words but the teachers wanted complete sentences? Fuck them. I got the right answer, and that's that. I had in-school suspension one time, and the asshole watching us throws a book down and demands I answer a bunch of questions in complete sentences. Sure, pal. "#1. The answer is ____." I bet that pissed him off.

Oh, let us not forget lunch at school. The assholes are all wanting kids to eat healthy. It was bad back then, but I know it's a lot worse now. The only time I bought lunch in the cafeteria was when they had pizza, pepperoni rolls, or their version of pepperoni hot pockets. Those hot pockets were awesome too, so much better than the microwave shit at the store. I also never drank milk. They didn't allow us access to the vending machines in the middle school though. If anyone was actually watching them, I went upstairs to the high school vending machines to load up on pop and candy for lunch. Fuck them. I'll eat what I goddamn please.

What about those stupid #2 pencils? We all remember those. What's so goddamn great about #2 pencils? Where the hell can I get a #1 pencil!? Fuck it. I like pens, anyway. Those tests with the bubbles to fill in, which require a #2 pencil, are especially annoying. I love multiple choice tests as much as the next guy. However, using those, the teacher might as well just announce that he/she is a lazy son of a bitch.

Don't forget about having to stand outside in the snow when it's 10 fucking degrees out waiting for the bus. Plus there's the bullshit of constantly having to monitor the TV in the when it snows to find out if school's canceled. Why don't they just have school from spring to fall and break in the winter instead of in the summer? That'd be the smart thing to do, in my opinion. Otherwise, they're always fucking around trying to make up days when they cancel. That's bullshit too. You canceled, it's done, fuck off. You're not getting an extra day out of me later. Ever seen people on the same street end up on different buses? Yep, that's real efficient. Your tax dollars at work, folks. I've even seen a bus driver hit a parked car. How the fuck do you miss a Chevy Silverado? I could see if it was one of those pissy little Mini Coopers or something.

After 7th grade, I decided school really wasn't for me anymore, so I got home-schooled. Good thing too. Had I stuck around, I probably would've been expelled for one reason or another. Schools are run by oppressive motherfuckers that think they can demand respect and give none in return. Respect is earned, assholes. They also think that students shouldn't have any rights whatsoever. They tell them what they can and can't wear, even what they can and can't have printed on t-shirts. "No hats, no sunglasses," and nobody has the balls to stand up to these assholes. Well, it's a good thing I got out before Stone Cold came about in the WWF. Those shirts obviously would not have gone over well, and I'm not into censorship. I probably would've opened a can of whoop ass on someone Stone Cold style too at some point. Some schools also have these "zero tolerance" policies on fighting. Might as well call it a zero logic policy. Some kid gets his ass kicked by a bully and they both get suspended/expelled. That's right. Now they even punish people for getting beat up! Between the insane, arbitrary, illogical, rules and the perpetual presence of bullies in schools, is it any wonder that some kids just go fucking postal?

I guess it's a good thing that I got out before Ritalin and other psychiatric solutions became big in schools too. Kids who refuse to go along and do what they're told nowadays just get diagnosed as having some bullshit problems and have pills crammed down their throats or counseling to make them be like everyone else. Some kids might be genuinely fucked up, but others are just like I was. Schools are no better than the military. They don't want kids thinking for themselves. They want them to follow orders. Hell, they even force kids to pledge to the flag in the morning. What exactly is that supposed to teach our youth? It's another forced ritual that's meaningless itself. Nothing has any meaning if you're simply forced to do it. Another thing I was glad to avoid was the addition of metal detectors in schools. If you're unlucky enough to have to deal with that shit, I suggest wearing chain mail just to fuck with the rent-a-cops. Genital piercings would probably make things interesting too, if you're into that sort of thing.

It’s kind of funny hearing about all these hot young teachers fucking their students nowadays. Where were these women when I was in school? Now THAT’s some fucking sex education. Then people want to crucify the poor women for giving up a little pussy. What red blooded young man doesn’t want to get laid!? Give me some teachers like that and I might’ve actually stayed in school.

Homeschooling is somewhat interesting, if you like solitude, flexible schedules, and being stuck with psychotic parents all the time. The curriculum wasn't much different than a real school would be, except for some bullshit reading requirement. You end up meeting other home-schoolers from time to time. Of course, they're mostly shut-in religious folks that I wanted nothing to do with. You have to be pretty fucked up to play sports in a dress. One of those nutty bitches actually played volleyball in a dress all the time though. I'll never understand people. I wore Stone Cold shirts with "swear" words on them. Nobody really seemed to notice. Maybe I should have gone in drag once just to see if the assholes would actually react to something.

I was also invited to play volleyball with one of my father's relatives on their church team at some point in high school. I wore my Stone Cold shirts for that too. Some old bastard actually had the balls to throw me out one night because my shirt had the word "ass" on it. Why do religious nuts always forget about everything besides Freedom of Religion? I didn't play volleyball again until college. It was entertaining returning a ball off my head and watching the other team look stupid when they found out that it actually counts.

That leads me to college, I suppose--another complete fucking waste of precious time that could've been used to play video games or jerk off. Yes, college. Go take a bunch of bullshit classes that have no bearing on any career you might be interested in, which are run by pompous assholes who think that their particular field is of some monumental importance instead of the painfully boring degree requirement that it really is. It's just amazing that people still put up with this shit as if putting themselves in debt for the next 20 years is somehow going to benefit them later. You might as well go buy a new car and get a job at Walmart. Same fuckin difference.

I went to Penn State Shenango for just over 2 years before I finally woke up and quit. I had been isolated so long before I started college that I apparently forgot my balls at home for the longest time. My real attitude came back to me at some point, obviously. During my first semester, I was invited to join the Lion Ambassadors. That was another mistake. The ambassadors were one of the clubs on campus, except it was by invitation only. They worked with the admissions office. It started out simple enough. Help with open houses, plan fund raisers, etc. Well, every event we planned pretty much failed miserably. The group was filled with some of the dumbest smart kids I've ever met. Well, I got through the first year. At least we figured out where the best room on campus to have our meetings would be the 2nd year. We picked the air conditioned computer lab and reserved it at noon on Wednesdays all that year. As luck would have it, some professor had a class in there right before us. I don't think the class even had anything to do with computers, but the bitch kept staying late all the time. At one point, I got fed up and told her to get the hell out. Of course, that made the guy from the admissions office flip out cause I was rude to a bitch with a PhD. Yeah, you guessed it. That was the end of my experience as an ambassador. Frankly, being run over by one might've been more fun.

Why the fuck do some people have such a hard-on for education? None of it means a damn thing. They don't teach you jack shit, even when you get into the actual courses for your major. What the flying fuck does the AT&T Monopoly have to do with Networking? I don't know, but my asshole professor made it worth 12 points on the fucking exam. The next question was to describe, in technical detail, how a telephone receiver works. Again: what the fuck?!?!? That's not to mention the Hardware exam including shit like what IDE stands for and how many pins certain ports on the computer have, etc. Who gives a fuck how many pins there are!? I know what the hell plugs in where (no thanks to you assholes), and that's all that matters. And who the hell cares what IDE stands for? That's why they invented the acronym!! You buy a Hard Drive, you buy an "IDE" or "SATA" device,  not an "Integrated Drive Electronics" device. They print "IDE," "ATA," etc. on everything. NOONE uses the full bloody name! People who go to school for computer related stuff usually go with the intention of learning something USEFUL for a goddamn career! Not complete bullshit, and not outdated programming languages. I've had people tell me their school is improperly teaching lame shit like HTML 3.0/4.0 and teaching useless junk like Java. Javascript is good, Java is just plain useless. They should be teaching XHTML and CSS2 for fuck sakes.

Anyone considering taking Microsoft certification? Don't bother. Half the shit is still based off Win95 and DOS. What the blue fuck!? And take a look at the A+ test questions. Total shit. They actually expect people to pay like $150 to take that goddamn test? Half the questions don't even have any relevance. There's even a bunch of bullshit questions about how to deal with customers. This isn't business Management 101, assholes! You couldn't pay me to take that test or any other Microsoft certification. Fuck you, Microsoft. Fuck you very much.

Another thing that pisses me off is seeing these stupid degrees on display. Why do people feel the need to frame their degree and put it on the wall to show it off? Fuck you. Anybody can spend a fortune and get one of those lame ass things. How bout being somebody with enough confidence/self esteem that you don't need to show off your stupid degree from Dog Twat University? College is such bullshit. It also pisses me off when people act like it matters which college they went to and that it's the greatest. "I graduated Redneck College in Deer Nuts, Arkansas!" Get bent. The immature assholes that like to advertise which fraternity they got drunk and fucked sheep at need a cup of shut the hell up too.

By the way, why does practically every college have "state" in the name now? Penn State, Ohio Sate, etc make sense, but Youngstown State University? Last I checked, Youngstown was NOT a state. That always bothered me. I know, they're state funded or certified or some stupid shit, right? Well, what's the point in advertising it? It may have meant something when there were only a few schools like that, but now they're all the same. That makes it kind of meaningless.

Going to college doesn't make you smart. It just means you have the patience to deal with that lame shit. Just because someone has Microsoft certification doesn't mean they know dick about computers. Remember that. These fucking companies want people with that stupid piece of paper, even though there are usually people without one who are just as qualified if not better for the task. Then there are always the complete and total assholes that only have their job because they know somebody. It's really a lot like medieval times; if you're not noble, you're fucked.

Some of the professors at these colleges are such assgoblins it's unreal. They take a simple required class and make it hell. They need to realize that 99% of the students in their classes aren't majoring in whatever lame ass general education subject they're teaching, and stop running them like they're fucking masters level classes. When over half the class is failing, it should be obvious that the problem lies with the professor and not the students, and the college should fucking do something about it. I don't care what kind of degree a professor has on their wall. It doesn't give them license to put students through hell and fuck up their otherwise good GPAs.

Anyone going to law school? Goodie for you. Have fun paying off student loans for the next 20 years. You may as well be working at Burger King for all you'll have to show for the first half of your career. Hell, by the time you graduate and pay off your loans you'll probably only be a few years from the old farts' home. Wouldn't college be so much cheaper if you only had to take the classes that were actually relevant to the degree you want? I mean come on. Doesn't the fact that there are 20 year olds filing for bankruptcy and/or committing suicide over the debt caused by college indicate to anyone that's there's a major fucking malfunction here!?!?

They even rape you for textbooks! I know somebody that spent $400 on used books for ONE class! What the fuck is wrong with these professors!? The publishers need to go fuck themselves too. Why the hell do we need a 14th edition of every book?

Know any career students? There's another load of shit: these idiots that just stay in school forever, and the rich, stupid parents that keep paying for year after year of worthless education because their kid doesn't have the balls to join the real world. Yeah, fuck them too.

While I consider the Amish culture to be ass backwards and completely obsolete, they do have the right idea about one thing. They only go to school until 8th grade. Really, what the fuck did you learn after 8th grade in school? That's when they really start piling on the bullshit: Algebra, Trigonometry, Calculus, more History, English classes full of Shakespeare shit, and foreign fucking languages. This is America. Nobody should be forced to learn anything but English. After 8th grade, they don't teach you ANYTHING useful. You should be able to opt to take the test for a GED at the end of 8th grade and be done with it.

You know what else pisses me off about schools? Their obsession with sports. Who the fuck wants to be in a college classroom with a bunch of brainless, hungover jocks that are only there to play sports and don't want to learn anything? Plus, those fuckers take all the seats in the easy classes! Why not let them go straight from high school to pro sports, shrink their nuts with steroids, get arrested for some stupid (probably drug-related) offense, and get it over with? I also despise these schools for wasting tax money on the shit. Last I heard, school taxes were meant for education. Maybe if they dropped some of the bullshit like football and get rid of the classes that teach useless shit, our taxes would be lower. I heard one of the schools nearby spends four grand a month to keep the lights on at the football field all night, every night. Ever think of saving little energy, assholes!? As far as sports programs in general go, they should only be paid for by the people that actually give a rat's testicle about them. Here's a thought for these schools: SELL TICKETS to the games! People want this shit, let THEM pay the fuckin admission price.

Colleges may seem to give you more freedom than high school, but in reality, they're not much better. In some ways, they're worse. I've heard of professors that require their students to buy an electronic monitoring device just so they can tell who's in class. Like nobody's going to give theirs to a friend? Once again I have to question the logic of the dickhead who came up with that, but I also have to question the students who still put up with the classes. WHY put up with these batshit insane professors?

I've heard about programming classes where you get penalized for being too smart. Isn't that lovely? The professor insists that assignments only be done 1 way, matching the professor's own programming style. Most computer literate folks will tell you that's a complete load of shit. It should be about making a program perform a specific function, not how well you can mimic the professor. If it was me, I'd be accusing the professor of fearing students that are smarter than him/her. I'd also accuse them of being a tight ass, prick, son of a bitch with a superiority complex. That's just me though.

There are also plenty of colleges that charge for parking in campus lots. If the 20 grand these cocksuckers charge a semester for classes isn't enough to cover student parking, I'd tell them to go fuck themselves. Schools should be obligated to provide adequate fuckin parking at no extra charge if they expect anyone to show up for class. However, once again we're plagued by pussies that just go along with the rules no matter how wrong they are, so things never change.

These colleges also have a reputation for covering things up. They don't care who gets into trouble or who gets raped. They just want to keep it quiet and keep the money coming in. They pressure/talk students into letting them handle things instead of the cops. Why do people go along with that? The most likely reason is probably fear of being thrown out of college, losing scholarships, etc. There are other schools. Please stop being wussies and stand up for yourselves.

Fuck Realism in Video Games

Am I the only one that thinks developers are focusing too much on realism in games? I hate sports, but I used to buy sports games because they were fun. Put the goalie through the net (Gretzky 3D Hockey), make a player that looks like Frankenstein and dunk from half court (NBA Hangtime), etc. They had a simulation option, but they catered to the people that enjoy the arcade experience. Midway had the right idea there. Now EA and 2K shit all over the arcade fans, so the only idiots buying their games are hardcore sports fans and people looking for easy achievements/trophies.

The same is true of racing games. Why haven't I seen an HD rerelease of Cruis'n USA? That was one of the best racers on N64. Waverace? 1080 Snowboarding? Good shit. Do we get any good snowboarding games anymore? Hell no. Racing games are all simulation shit. I don't want to be on my brakes 80% of the race trying to make bullshit hairpin turns every 10 fucking feet. I want fast paced racing that doesn't have retarded sharp turns every 2 seconds. I want street racing. I like Ridge Racer 6, but they made the AI ridiculously unfair. I still managed to get all but 1 achievement on that. I miss drifting around corners full speed and never needing to slow down. I miss unlocking ridiculous cars that corner like mad. I miss hitting nitrous constantly. Juiced 2 was really fun. Do we get another one of those? Nope. Just more Forza shit.

I see the same thing with shooters. Why does every fucking game have to copy Call of Duty's iron sights bullshit? Why can't we get the option of a reticule? I don't play on a 40 inch HD screen to have the goddamn gun block half the screen when I try to aim. That's another thing. There's no such thing as dead accurate guns anymore. It's all bloom and recoil and shit. Fuck you. I'd actually like to hit where the hell I'm aiming every fucking shot. I'm shooting alien dinosaurs and gremlins that breath helium(?). I need real gun physics like I need a 2nd asshole. You want to give me realism? How bout you stop making wooden doors that are fucking rocket proof?!?!?! Why the hell do I need a key when I have a rocket? You want realism? How bout AI that does NOT have 100% accuracy no matter how fast you run? How bout AI that doesn't magically see me through walls a half mile away? Thank you. Why the hell don't we ever see good railguns in games? The only game that had a proper, Eraser style, railgun was the original Turok Dinosaur Hunter on N64. They called it the Pulse Rifle on there, and it was fucking awesome.

Fuck Sports

The stupid bowl is coming up, so it seemed like a good time to rant about this stupid shit. Speaking of that, why do these companies piss away millions of commercials during the superbowl? I don't get it. Millions of fucking dollars for a 30 second commercial slot. It's always the same fucking companies too. Do they really think people haven't heard of Budweiser or Coke!? Either peolple drink it or they don't. No way in hell the commercials are worth it. Discount the fuckin product instead of pissing away money on advertising like that.

Why do these idiots get paid so much to play games on TV, and why is it forced down our throats? Sports really piss me off. Most of them are just plain fuckin stupid, and none of them should be on TV. With 900+ channels, why must the sports shit still bump other shows to air on CBS etc and cause repeats to be aired on competing channels? Why must NBC/CBS/ABC show such complete shit programming on the weekends!? It's Saturday, and all of a sudden every fucking network thinks they're ESPN. Hell, they even cut in during the week for shit. They cut out the CBS soaps for tennis and college fucking basketball every year. COLLEGE basketball! Not even NBA! What the fuck!? What's next, cutting out prime time shows to air high school sports? Give me a goddamn break. The fucking schools nowadays are more interested in sports than education. It's bullshit. You just know some of the same shit you see on TV is really happening too; stupid jocks getting their grades fixed because they're good at their dumb ass game, crimes being covered up to keep the assholes out of jail when they do shit other people would get locked up/expelled for. Fuck sports!

The pre-game shows are probably the most annoying thing. Why must they always have some asshole sing the national anthem in the shittiest way possible? No one wants to hear that horrible high-pitched shit that these idiots do when they sing it. I don't give a fuck if it was intended that way or not. It sounds like shit! Do these assholes ever listen to how bad they sound? Oh, they wear earplugs on stage so they don't have to!

Racing: Where do I start? Holy shit this is stupid. Driving 500 laps in a fucking circle and making 50 pit stops? What are we trying to prove here? Who has the fastest car or who can stay awake the longest!? It's all about making lame ass pit stops at the right time until like the last few laps. Complete stupidity. That's not racing, it's a waste of fuel and rubber. I hear there's even a speed limit on some races. What-the-fuck? It's a RACE. Holy shit! The stupidity amazes me. People actually watch this shit??? Why the fuck would you want to race cars that are all built to be equal (CRIPPLED!)? What's the point? That's NOT racing. Watch Fast and The Furious sometime. That's what racing should be.

Hockey: Well, other than the fact it's one of the lowest scoring goddamn sports I ever saw (make the goal a little bigger or put the fuckin goalie on a diet), there's a lot of completely pointless rules. Off Sides? WTF!? If a player crosses the center line before the puck reaches him he's off sides. Well, I don't know about you, but I'd be looking at a lot of other shit before I wanted to pay attention to a fucking line on the floor (like the puck or the assholes trying to run you the fuck over!). Icing? Hitting the puck toward the goal is only allowed if you're close enough to it? fuck you. It amazes me people actually pay for tickets to go and watch this shit. Imagine, they pay for tickets to go sit somewhere and freeze their asses off while some idiots are playing a game and taking breaks to beat the shit out of each other. I guess boxing on ice takes more skill than real boxing though.

Football: A 1 hour game clock, but the game lasts like 5 hours by the time they're done fucking around. Really now. Plus, they have to throw in a fucking pre-game show and post-game show. WTF? Shut the hell up. It's a game. Let them fucking play, and let that be the end of it! The only thing I find amusing about football are the fun movies (i.e. The Replacements). There are also the dumbass kickers. They only have 1 job: kick the fucking ball! How do they manage to screw that up so much? If you can't get the ball to go dead center between the uprights from the 1(?) yard line for the extra point, stay the fuck off the field. The referees piss me off too. Why the fuck do they have to echo on TV every time they get shown making a goddamn call!? Has no one realized how fuckin irritating that shit is!? Then everyone goes batshit half the time because the assholes screw up the calls anyway. I guess each team is allowed a few challenges now to have the referees check the replay video or something? Why not plant a referee in front of the fucking TV to begin with!? Then if the ones on the field fuck up, he can step in and fix it. Nah, that'd make too much sense. Heaven forbid anyone try to use some fucking logic. They pay the goddamn players a fortune every year. What's one more ref?

Basketball: Who the fuck wants to watch a bunch of assholes running back and forth across a court squeaking their goddamn shoes the whole time and getting called for fouls even though most of the assholes couldn't make a free throw to save their life?

Golf: Just plain stupid. Yeah, let's go hit a golf ball a couple hundred yards at a time and try to get it to a hole. Bullshit. I wanna see these guys play miniature golf. Let's see how good a mood Tiger Woods is in after fucking around with a windmill for half an hour! And wtf is with these assholes and putting down a marker for their ball when it's only like 4 feet from the goddamn hole!? Just put it in and be done, numbnuts! My parents had golf on during dinner one day and I saw this one guy miss a 2 foot putt. Why the hell is he on TV!?

Horse Racing: WTF? This is an outdated, elitist fucking thing, and its only purpose nowadays is for people to fucking gamble on. Yet, they put it on fucking TV! What asshole decided horse racing was a good idea to include in Saturday programming!?!? Not only that, but they spend more time talking about the fucking race before and after then they do showing the goddamn thing!

Tennis: What the hell is this shit? Oh, That guy has X number of set points, this many aces, and some deuces. Great. What the fuck is the difference!? And why does it sound like a goddamn poker game? Those games go on entirely too fucking long. Have you ever noticed the assholes are too lazy to even pick up the fucking balls? Once that ball goes down, they make some idiot run out and pick it up for them. Lazy bastards. Ever see how often these idiots slam the ball straight into the net on the serve? I don't know much about tennis, but I know the ball is supposed to go OVER the net! These people are supposed to be professionals and they look like complete idiots out there. I can't believe they cut out the CBS soaps for shit like the U.S. Open. There's another dumbass thing. It's called the U.S. Open, but I don't think I've seen one fucking American on there. You can't understand any of these idiots when they get interviewed. What a lousy show. Now if they tried to hit each other with the ball once in a while, that might be entertaining. Dodgeball with smaller balls. Why not? First person to get knocked out or hit in the nuts looses or most hits after a certain amount of time. First to 21 bruises? whatever. It'd be a lot more fuckin entertaining than the shit they do now. I still don't understand how people can stand to watch it without the TV muted. Holy hell. Every time somebody hits the ball they scream as if they got hit by the motherfucker. "Uhhhh! Aahhh!" Close your goddamn mouth, asshole! If I wasn’t looking at the screen, I’d wonder if someone was watching porno.

Bowling: Bowling is another sport that has managed to inspire an entertaining movie or two, but it's not that goddamn interesting. I've bowled. I have yet to understand the need for those goddamn shoes. I mean what asshole came up with this? I think it's just an excuse for the morons that run the alleys to gouge you for more money. I mean who bothers to buy their own bowling shoes unless they really go a lot? It's kind of funny if you think about it. People actually pay to wear the same funky, fungus filled shoes 100 other people have worn! Maybe with all the paranoid germaphobes we'll start seeing bowling shoes actually sell a bit better.

Olympics: How is any of this shit considered sports??? For that matter, why is it that most of the people on "team USA" aren't even fucking American!?!? "Michelle Qwan" - The name says it all. There are Canadians, Asians, etc.  How the hell are these countries supposed to compete against each other when half the best athletes from those countries are on other fucking teams!? You want to be in the Olympics, compete for the right goddamn country. These idiots do nothing but train all the time. They have no lives outside that shit. They starve themselves to keep their weight down. What the fuck kind of life is that? All in pursuit of a fucking hunk of metal. GET A LIFE! Hell, in the US, they apparently tax the athletes on the value of their medals! Of course, they’re not solid medals anyway. The gold medals probably aren’t even 10% gold. WTF is that shit? Everybody seems to think these bullshit “games” are so important though. I don’t get it.

Gymnastics/Floor exercise - WTF is with all that stupid prancing and posing. Do shit that actually requires some kind of fucking skill!

Diving and Synchronized Diving - What the flying fuck? Do people have nothing better to do than judge how some asshole lands in the water? That's fucking lame.

Ice skating - Another "WTF!?!?" Stupid prancing and posing shit. Really. If you call that a sport, let's add pole/belly dancing while we're at it. At least that'd be fuckin entertaining.

Sledding/Skiing - Once again, STUPID. Put some trees and obstacles in there to make it interesting. I wanna see some idiot land in a tree, nuts first. That'd be halfway entertaining. Then there are these idiots that think cross country skiing is a sport. What crackhead thought that shit up? Have you ever seen that stupid shit? They might as well be having potato sack races!

Boxing - More WTF. "No, I don't wanna be hit anymore! Let's hug!" Fuck off. That shit should be an automatic DQ. If you can't win the fight without fucking around like that, you're trash. Suck each other's cocks in private. It's supposed to be a fucking FIGHT!

Dodgeball should be a sport. Now that's fun shit! :-D

What about the cost of some of this shit? They raise the sales tax and stuff in some states/counties to pay for new stadiums. FUCK YOU! I'm not a sports fan, and I shouldn't have to pay out to support the shit. If you want more money, raise the fuckin ticket prices. Let the goddamn fans pay for the shit if they want it that bad. Better yet, tax the 20 million a year some of the fucking players make!

Fuck Christmas

Fuck holidays. Fuck decorations. Fuck mistletoe and candy canes. Fuck Santa and the elves. Fuck the religious assholes that stole the Pagan celebration of solstice and made it some bullshit religious holiday full of gift giving and family shit. Fuck Hanukkah and the idiots who came up with that too. Fuck Rudolph and Frosty. Roast both those motherfuckers. Fuck turkey and the idiots who thought having it two holidays in a row was smart. We had pulled pork, assholes. Fuck New Years and fuck all the stores that close for it. Fuck the fucking football game on New Years too. Fuck New Years resolutions and the idiots who always feel the need to make them but never keep them anyway. Fuck holiday movies, chestnuts, and fires. Fuck snow, and the idiots who are afraid to drive in it. Fuck fake trees and those teeny tiny little lights. What the fuck happened to real Xmas lights? The ones with bulbs in them the size of a fucking night light!

Yes, I'm a bitter, lonely son of a bitch. I can't stand my life. I can't find a way to change. I'm just stuck here playing Halo. Bah fucking humbug.

Fuck Gamestop

I went into the Gamestop in Hermitage PA to get a copy of Fist of the North Star-Ken's Rage 2 for Xbox360 today. The only "new" copy they had was the bullshit gutted copy with a scuffed disc in the drawer and heavily worn case. The case was for the original game and not the 2nd because the idiots sold the wrong disc with the wrong case previously, so I don't even get the right cover art. Plus, it had 4 stickers all slapped on top of each other at different angles. How the fuck is that a brand new item? That's not even mint condition once the disc is scuffed and stickers are all over the case. I've seen ex-rentals in better shape! You should NOT be able to sell shit like that as new. Nobody else opens the goddamn games for display cases. Come up with something else. If you're too lazy to keep an eye on your own inventory than get those stupid plastic cases Walmart and other places use or print your own goddamn cover art to display. Once you unwrap a game, it's not new anymore. Stop screwing game collectors with garbage in poor condition claiming it's new.

I almost wish Microshaft had gone through with their DRM fuckery on Xbox One. Probably would've shit all over Gamestop. Of course I manage to get fucked over with the one game I go there for the whole xmas season.