Thursday, August 28, 2014

Fuck Microsoft


Microsoft is such a fucking joke. They've always been a software company, but their software in recent years has been nothing but bloated, busted ass shit. They had to kill Windows XP support to get anyone to move on to newer versions of Windows because nobody liked them. Their forums, website, and web store are all total shit. The online store goes down every year on black Friday because it's an inefficient piece of shit that they subcontracted to a team of idiots.

Their Xbox forums are atrocious. As if censoring half the words you hear on network TV isn't bad enough, they still ban you for using them. That, or they don't like me telling them to fuck off when they require edit notes for fixing a fucking typo. I've NEVER seen a forum require "edit notes" for regular users to edit their posts. It's retarded. Of course, they can't even tell me what they keep banning me for, because they don't have private messaging! Why does everyone insist on using these half assed homebrew forums instead of things like vBulletin and phpBB that actually work!?

The forums on Halo Waypoint, which is owned by Microsoft, are even worse. The assholes that wrote those don't even know what a browser cookie is for. They log you out every 4 fucking hours. Other sites let me stay logged in for 4 months or more, including Xbox.com itself, and that uses the same account! I'm so tired of every forum on the internet trying to cater to fucking family rated content and shitting on the adults that actually pay for their own shit. Forums dedicated to M rated game are even censored to hell. Fuck off.

Here's an idea. How bout keeping little kids from playing the M rated games online with me!?!?!? Why the hell do we have no control over who we get matched with in online games? Xbox won't even give a proper blacklist option to avoid the trolls. They know damn well there are people you run into who you NEVER want to see again, but they don't give a shit. Their rep system is utterly worthless, and the developers could care less about properly policing their game once they get your money. They ban people that quit too much in Halo, but they won't take reports against the assholes that cause half the quitting! They won't fix co-op to only give XP to those who participate, removing half the reason to idle. It would've been a very simple patch for Halo Reach, but they spent months writing and testing an update to nerf a bullshit armor ability that should never have been in competitive multi-player (Armor Lock) instead.

Now we're getting a new Halo game (well sort of new) in a few months, so I have to get their garbage new console (Xbox One) to play it on. A console that has game updates that are bigger than an entire 360 game. Most game updates on Xbox360 were less than 10MB, many less than 1MB. On Xbox One, the updates are commonly in the gigabytes. I've heard of a few games that had 15GB updates. It's ridiculous and borderline retarded of developers to waste that kind of bandwidth/space on updates! I think Microsoft is mostly to blame. I heard the initial update for Sniper Elite 3 on XB1 was 10GB, while the same update for PS4 was only 400MB. What. The. Fuck. Wait, isn't MS a SOFTWARE company? Sony makes fucking TVs, but they somehow made the better console this generation. Interesting.

When you make a new product, it should be finished when you release it. I'm not paying an arm and a leg to be a fucking beta tester, but that's essentially what early buyers are. They left out half the options we had on Xbox 360, even the simplest things. Apparently, you can't even choose to globally disable controller vibration on Xbox One. You have to rely on developers to include the option in the game itself. Of course, those assholes don't even know what options are anymore. You know options? Those neat settings we used to be able to customize everything about the game we're playing? If FPS devs had half a clue, they give us the option of playing with a working reticule all the time (Halo style) or using those shit iron sights that Call of Duty games keep pushing. An option to NOT zoom out when being hit would be nice as well. I'd rather keep exchanging fire while scoped than get knocked out of aim entirely and die because of it, or die because I was trying to zoom out manually and zoomed back in, etc.

I still haven't seen the dashboard on Xbox One, since the system of updating the console itself is retarded too. When you buy a new device that requires software updates, it should do them all at once without being fucking retarded. When I first booted my Xbox One, I was treated to the expected notification that an update was required. Ok, fine. I left it download through the night. Now I get up the next morning and find that it wants to update AGAIN! WTF? Am I supposed to download 6 months or more of separate monthly updates one at a time!? That's fucking stupid. Update the son of a bitch and be done with it! Holy shit the people that write this software are stupid. This is just as bad as game updates on Xbox360 kicking you out of party chats and offline completely to get a tiny little update for one fucking game!

I can't wait to see how cheap the controllers are made this time around. I lost count of how many I wore out playing Halo on Xbox 360. Keep failing, Microshaft. Keep failing. I think Sony still has double the amount of PS4s sold as Xbox Ones. Is it any wonder why gamers are defecting to Sony?

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Fuck Infrared Remotes


What is it with this ancient fucking technology that electronics companies are too stubborn or too cheap to kill!?!? This the the 21st century. I should NOT need bullshit fucking "line of sight" to operate my goddamn blu-ray player. They do apps, streaming, 3D, 4K/UHD, and connect to your fucking smart phone, but they won't use a bluetooth or RF remote. WHY!?!?! Where's the innovation!? Where's the advancement? Where's the progression of technology in this hardware? Everything is about to go HDMI 2.0 and all this happy shit, but it's still made with garbage IR remotes. PS3 is the only device to have a bluetooth media remote at this point. We had a satellite dish when I was a kid, and the receiver had an RF remote that worked anywhere in the goddamn house. I didn't even need to be in the same room to change the channel! 20 years later, where are we? Going fucking back asswards like most of the world. No forward thinking unless it's to save a buck or worth advertising.

Same reason so many TVs still have such shit input lag compared to PC monitors. With all the technology currently available, there's no excuse for a screen to be absolute shit for gaming even in "GAME MODE!" Now with 4K, it'll go downhill again in terms of performance until that tech is in its prime. Then we'll need something new and they'll start fucking it up all over again instead of honing the tech until it's perfect for everything. At least Plasma is finally dying. We didn't need that shit cluttering up stores anymore. How many different types of TV tech do we really need? Hopefully this bullshit 3D fad is on its way out too.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Fuck Dating SItes


Do normal/boring women exist anymore? I'm so tired of these dating sites. Why does everyone need multiple degrees and a goddamn Masters nowadays? Can you really find nothing better to do than spend half your goddamn life in school!? All the women I see on these sites are over educated, over religious, vegetarian health nut, sports fanatics, and all the cute ones are from Pittsburgh! Fuck Pittsburgh! Fuck the sports teams, fuck the traffic, fuck the parking garages with low ceilings, and fuck that bitch from the National Weather Service in Pittsburgh who doesn't even know how to say "Pittsburgh!"

I don't get it. Well, I sort of get it, but it's bullshit. When I was younger, I tried the college thing and worked a bit. At that age, money doesn't matter much. I was quiet and shy and never got out much. I'm not outgoing. When people talk to me, I talk. Otherwise, I don't really have shit to say. I went to a boring local college, worked a couple jobs, and got pissed off because I never met anyone. Anyone I did meet ended up a friend. Don't get me wrong, I have some awesome friends. The point is I'm terrible at meeting women and always will be. At this age, now money is an issue. I mean, I always have some cash, but I don't work. I don't have some lame ass 9-5 career that pays big bucks. I have neck and back problems from a car accident a while back. Hell, I had my appendix out a few years back and they found a damn tumor in it. Which means, on top of my busy, exciting life, I also got to keep getting poked and scanned the past few years. Nothing's really come of it, besides getting more used to blood work.

I never got my own place because I didn't need one that bad. I couldn't meet anyone, so I'd just be sitting there alone playing video games. I can do that sitting here on the farm, and it's a hell of a lot cheaper. The internet access sucks, and there's no pizza delivery though. I also have to put up with two assholes, one of which insists on treating me like I'm 16 forever, but I digress. I'm a nice guy. I'm honest, kind, and caring. I'm generally polite, but I don't censor myself. That should be pretty obvious. I'm not religious. I'm not registered to vote. I don't watch sports. I like sports movies. I could watch those all day long. Fuck the real thing though. Did I mention I don't censor myself? I don't smoke. I don't drink either, really. I guess I use enough 4 letter words to make up for not doing the other 2.

All I ever really wanted was a good woman--plus good internet and a good video game. I never dreamed of some bullshit special career. I look at the world a little differently. Maybe that makes me an asshole. Ok, I'm done venting for tonight. Back to Halo.