Fuck Holiday Shopping

It's beginning to look a lot like FUCK THIS! Tis the season to get fucked in the ass by retailers online and offline.

I think Microsoft is trying to compete with the health care site for worst website ever. Funny how Amazon can have 10 times the inventory on lightning deals and shit all day long and mostly work fine, but Microsoft can't even sell a few Xbox games and bullshit tablets. MICROSOFT! The biggest fucking software company in history can't write a fucking website that works! You can't even email their customer service! That's right. MICROSOFT DOESN'T HAVE EMAIL!!!! Seriously!? They keep chirping about the "infinite power of the cloud." Maybe they should host their fucking website on it so it won't be unusable for hours when the deals go live.

NewEgg kind of failed in the deals department this year, but their site works, so I'll give them props for that. I'm really tired of seeing their marketplace shit though. There should be an option to opt out and only view shit sold by NewEgg itself. They also need to take their eco friendly packaging materials stick them. I miss packing pellets.

Best Buy is fuckin retarded both online and in store. You go in the store and the TV shows aren't just in alphabetical order. No, they're grouped by studio, so you have to look half a dozen differnet sections to find what the fuck you're looking for. Nobody keeps track of what studio releases what. Why would we give a flying fuck!? Then their fucking website is designed by morons that apparently never heard of browser cookies. I seriously can't refresh my wish list to see what prices have changed without logging back it every motherfucking time. I leave the pages open to save time. Having to type my password every couple hours really isn't saving me any time.

Amazon is doing alright, as usual, but one of their deals was seemingly broken for me. An Xbox game that was listed on the deal calender for 9:10am PST on Friday, never showed up on the lightning deals list itself. I followed other stuff to see what it'd go for. This game just wasn't there. The price never changed. Yet, I refreshed the deals calender around 9:15 and it said the deal had a little less than 2 hours left. WHAT THE FUCK? I email Amazon customer service and I get the run around from these fuckers that obviously don't speak english as a first language.

I'm getting tired of this shit. No matter where you shop online, it's the same shit. If you have a problem you have to go through customer service people that you can't understand on the phone or that don't fully comprehend your emails. I'm shopping at an American owned retailer, paying American sales tax with American money. I expect to deal fucking Americans when I have ordering issues!!! The fucking phone company is bad enough. Goddamn! You should not be allowed to outsource customer service. And people wonder why there's no fucking jobs anymore. Fuck factory work. Let the little Asian kids or whoever do it for $1/hour. I don't care. Problem is, they're not happy just saving money on labor for making shit. They're outsourcing everything customer service related, and they use cheap fuckin parts for everything so it doesn't work worth a shit! Seen all the reported issues with the new game consoles? I don't remember a failure rate on the N64 worth talking about. Do you? Things have gone to shit. Microsoft obviously outsourced their website hosting too. Probably outsourced the design itself, and that's why the fucker is so goddamn broken. The guys that wrote Gameshark Central when they were like 12 did better website programming than these fuckers!

You know the other problem with shopping online? All the big stores start their deals at midnight PACIFIC. Fuck your fucking timezone. Why the fuck does everyone to the east get fucked just because your corporate office is in California? Would it seriously be that bad to start 3 hours earlier, so EVERYONE can shop at a reasonable hour!? What the fuck!?

At least I didn't bother fighting my way through the mob of assholes at Walmart this year for $10 games. Holy shit. I went a couple years ago just to get one or two things that were $10. They handed out maps of what is where. Either the map was written by a retard, or the store was stocked by a whole group of them, because the shit wasn't right. It showed videogames in front of the electronics department. Makes sense, right? Sure, there were games...for fucking Wii. No PS3/Xbox stuff. No, the $10 games were at the opposite end of the fucking store. Brilliant! See if I trust their map and wait for them to take the 50 layers of shrink wrap off the fuckin pallets next time.

People are fuckin idiots too. What is it with these silly fuckers camping out for Black Friday? It takes a special kind of asshole to camp out for hours/day just to save $100 on a cheap shit brand TV, or a cheap shit PC. Have fun wasting your day, freezing your tits off, and fighting over a few bargains, shitheads. I'll do the research and buy something decent when the price drops. Hey, do the adult shops have black friday sales? If nothing else, the line outside one of those would probably be interesting. "So what are you shopping for? The 3 foot purple dildos or the half off bondage films?"

Then people online were whining about stores opening on Thanksgiving day cause it's a holiday. Fuck off. Why the hell did Thanksgiving become such an important religious holiday? I don't say grace. I don't even like fuckin turkey. The only reason we didn't smoke some pulled pork instead was my father was watching fuckin football. Fuck football too. Wasn't Thanksgiving started with the whole pilgrims and indians thing? Leave your fucking deity out of it. Fucking stores should stay open. It's a bullshit holiday with no real purpose. Christmas is okay. We get presents and shit on Christmas. Although, they should really change the name since they stole most of the customs from the Pagan celebration of winter solstice and other random religions anyway.

Why isn't anyone bitching about the Salvation Army people that have to freeze their ass off outside stores when there's plenty of room inside? It's fucking stupid, especially at Walmart/Sam's Club. Have you seen the size of their fucking entry room with the carts? The Salvation Army person could easily stand between the sets of doors going in and out where it's nice and warm all day. Nope. Store policy is to make them free their nuggets off for no fucking reason. SERIOUSLY!?!!?

Fuck Waffle House

For me, the Waffle House experience started with a random visit to one in Fort Walton Beach, Florida in 2005. We were on our way to go on a Cruise my mother won out of Tampa, but we stopped in FWB for a singe day to visit my father's cousin. He took us to WH for breakfast, and so began my waffle addiction.

When we got back, we noticed a WH about to open in Niles, OH (winter 2005) and started going there. The food was amazing, and the people were awesome. I had a couple servers that remembered my entire order (right down to the strawberry jelly). Yeah, I'm a creature of habit. One them, Val, moved on to Hubbard WH when that opened. That was a lot closer, so I started go there 3-4 times a week (sometimes more). I started to vary my order a little based on my mood and who was cooking. At the time Val and her ex/boyfriend (Danny) were the two best cooks, even though Val mostly served. After the Austintown WH opened, Val and Danny got into some fight with the owner and lost their jobs. I still keep in touch with them. Val is my best friend. There's a hell of a long story behind that.

Then Bryan and Derek became my cooks of choice. Why do some people suck so much at cooking? I guess half the reason Bryan and Derek were so good was being trained by the master (Danny). Well, I know Derek was. I'm not sure about Bryan. Anyway, All was mostly well around there until the owner (Doug) left the business. There was a guy from corporate there for a bit until they got a new owner. The first thing owner #2 did was fire the 2 best cooks they had (Bryan and Derek), and he wouldn't even give the manager at Hubbard a fucking reason for it!! The asshole also proceeded to run off or fire nearly everyone who originally worked for Doug at both my usual locations. There are currently all of 2 people I know left from the original staff between the 2 locations, and I used to know everybody there.

I didn't bother going in for 6 months or so after losing my favorite cooks a 2nd time and hearing about everyone else quitting and getting fired. Then I tried it once or twice a year and the idiots at the Hubbard WH couldn't even make decent waffles anymore. They still can't, last I knew. I won't even bother going to the Hubbard one anymore, especially with the driveway between WH and Flying J being so fucked up it's ridiculous. I'm not driving through there in my new truck. I decided to try the one in Niles again this summer, and found one of the servers who used to be at the Hubbard one. I also discovered a cook that was actually good (Bobbi). Owner #2 departed, and the local WH locations became corporate.

They've still never learned how to keep the goddamn waffle irons clean. When they make chocolate chip waffles, the chocolate ends up stuck to the iron and gets on other waffles they make for a while. I didn't order a chocolate chip waffle. I don't want that burnt ass black chocolate that's been cooking the past hour on mine! It's a fairly simple problem to solve, but people are fucking lazy. There are like 12 waffle irons there, assholes! Pick one or two and dedicate them exclusively to chocolate chip waffles. Problem solved!

I've decided to only got to WH when Bobbi is cooking now. I mostly did the same when Bryan and Derek were around at Hubbard. I followed their schedule. Problem is the manager at the Niles/Howland one is being a bitch and won't tell me when Bobbi works. Bobbi doesn't care. She tells me her schedule for the week when I remember to ask. It's a half hour fucking ride over there. I'm not coming in to eat unless I know Bobbi is cooking. I don't give a fuck. The manager damn well knows me, and knows my situation. She's obviously annoyed nobody likes her inconsistent cooking. The district manager tried to serve me half a waffle last time he cooked for me (part of it stuck in the iron), so fuck him too. They still don't know how to hang onto workers either. One of those last 2 remaining servers from the original crew even got another job and plans to move on because she's tired of dealing with shit management. She put in for a transfer back to the Hubbard WH like 5 months ago and got ignored.

I have a feeling I'll be needing a new place to eat soon. I was going to Denny's during the time I dropped WH before, but they changed the goddamn sausage about a year ago. I haven't really be inclined to eat there since.

Fuck The Auto Industry

Fuck the car companies. Fuck the greedy, lazy, union assholes that build the cars. Fuck the people who sell them. Fuck the retards that buy the ugliest cars ever made in the ugliest colors. Fuck the people that give financing to people who have no business owning vehicles they can't afford. Fuck the high end rides and the rich trouser stains that throw away money on them to compensate for their tiny dicks.

Yeah, it's one of those days. I just heard something about Toyota discontinuing the FJ Cruiser after 2014. You know. Maybe if you didn't force that ugly fucking white roof on everyone, you'd sell a few more, ASSHOLES! They only make about 2500 per year in a solid color, and they only make one color like that per year. I swear it's like pulling teeth to get any options at all when buying a new vehicle. Dealers don't even want to get you the color you want half the time. You can't get leather on small trucks. They barely have color options for the interior of anything! You can't get a regular cab F-150 with a V8 even though I have a goddamn Ranger with one in it, so it's obviously possible from an engineering standpoint.

These fuckin assholes expect people to spend 30, 40, 80 grand on a car and won't even build it the way we want it. Then the dealers think they can tattoo the fuckin vehicles they sell? I don't know who I hate more: the dealers that stick that name plate on ass end of the vehicles they sell, or the idiots who actually let them get away with it. Why the fuck would you let some asshole advertise on your new ride? You sure as hell aren't getting paid for it. Let them take out a fuckin TV commercial like everybody else. That's another thing that pisses me off. All you hear all day long on TV and radio are these fucking dealerships advertising. Everywhere you look in town there's another car dealer. They're worse than fucking Starbucks! You can't even tell what brand they're dealing half the time because the lot is half full of random shit people traded in. Isn't the economy still in the shitter too? How the hell are all these dealerships still open and still affording to advertise in the first place? Somehow, I wouldn't expect $50k cars to be flying off the goddamn lot. Hey, when the fuck is somebody going to invent flying cars, anyway? All the movies said we'd have them by now.

Then these useless dealers want to go back and forth with you on price. Did I walk into a fucking auction? Is this Craigslist? How the fuck do you negotiate the price of something that's brand fucking new? You can't negotiate the price of gas, DVDs, guns, beer, or a goddamn sandwich. What's with this negotiating shit in the auto industry!!?!? "Well, how much do you want to pay for it?" I'm buying a brand new car, not your fucking sister. Negotiating is for used items and labor, not a new product off a goddamn assembly line! Stop dicking people around, set the motherfucking price up front, and be done with it.

Oh, and what's this bullshit requiring proof of insurance to even transfer the title of a vehicle? Last I checked, I didn't need insurance to have it towed home and put it on display in my fuckin yard. Maybe I just want to hang it from the ceiling like they do with the old cars at Quaker Steak and Lube! I only need insurance if I actually want to drive the motherfucker. Yet, they can't sell me this pile of steel if I can't provide proof of insurance on the spot? Fuck off. They want proof of insurance and all this shit from you, and they can give you plates, but they can't give you the motherfucking little sticker to go on the plates? Fuck sticking that paper to my back window. What's on those fucking things? Gorilla Glue!? The shit never comes off!

They fuck you at the car dealer, ok? They fuck you at the car dealer. First they dazzle you with the newest model. Then they fuck you on options and extras. The insurance company gets to fuck you before you're even allowed to purchase the vehicle. Then when they're done fucking you, along comes the DMV and fucks you some more. $60 a year for a registration sticker the size of a fuckin postage stamp!